The natural hair movement is a debate between females and males that's been going on for a while now. Why is it a debate? Cos a huge % of us females, do give a crap what men find attractive, don't lie! I've had the discussions more so with my male friends (as I have more of them than females.) While a lot of them don't rate the weaves / front lace wigs because women cannot take care of them and they hate the 'You can't pull my hair' line, many of them like the natural hair look, whether it's curly or straight but please let it be all your own. We do put a lot of value on our hair but why shouldn't we?
Let's talk about what I've noticed since I traded in the hot plates for my brain thermal warming curls.
Demographic wise, I get more of a forward approac with my straight hair from most ethnicities but when it's curly - not so much. I find they will stare at the hair - a lot. Once they do find their balls & to talk to me, I'm complimented tremendously on my hair with offers of wanting to sleep on it as a pillow & can they touch it. I guess the most fascinating thing is the spring back, ah the simple things like a shiny spoon!
I also love the compliments women give, that seems more gratifying, we all know how some women can be ' mean girls united ' if they can't have it, they don't want you to have it so God forbid even getting a genuine compliment.
Curly girls can have best of both worlds but not without some repercussions down the way.
Without self love of the curls, all of that doesn't mean much. Curly hair isn't without it's trouble, for me. I use to avoid eating bread crust as I was told it would keep & make my hair curly. WTF?! It was like feeding me bleach, it wasn't happening. Not many children around me had curls and when you're young and at an impressionable time in your life - all that 'being different is cool' shit isn't cool.
All great achievements require time.- Maya Angelou
I was ready to fall in love. I've reverted back to my daily curls for about 16 months now. Those days when I know my hair needs to be washed and it's an all day operation. Staring in the mirror, what does my hair need, is it too dry? Too oily? Is my scalp itching? Is it normal? Does it just need clarifying for the week or a real hardcore wash? Do I need to trim my hair? Maybe the colour is starting to fade and I want something different? Some days I find my bad hair days look a lot worse than others, the frizz halo, limp strands, dryness, shrinkage and when it happens all at one time, dude, so not cool.
HE will need to know that when I say I'm washing my hair and I'm busy, I'm truly busy from morning to evening. This bush doesn't come easy & with a lot of successes in life, it comes with time & hard work (or a rich husband but I don't see how that'll help my hair.)
HE will need to know that my hair can be larger than life and have a mind of it's own, be cautious, if you sit by me and I move my head, you will get slapped. Don't take it personally.
HE will need to understand that frizz is not an option and therefore isn't publicly presentable for me. Vain yes but I'm sure he wouldn't walk outside with his penis in his zipper.
HE will need to know that hairball wasn't from the cat but from my brush / comb and somehow escaped the bin.
Would I trade it in, hell no. It's taken me a long time to accept these curls and these curls are what are natural about me, the unpredictability, the way it makes me scalp sweat in heat, use it to hide my face when I'm trying not to laugh or simply to just put my hands in and ruffle the curls about.
India Arie sang I'm not my hair, well India, I might not be my hair but it's a big part of me. Most importantly women, do as you feel with your hair. If it makes you happy, nobody else matters do they? Even if we do inconspicuously want to know others opinion - it's natural ha!
Tell me what love affair do you have with yourself?
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