Back Then And Now . . .

This month I've been going through huge transitions. I've noticed where my peace has been lying and where my anxiety has been building. I enjoy what I do but I'm thoroughly conflicted as of late. I'm not going to focus on this too much but it's definitely something I'm listening to, my friend circle has got even more smaller, I'm talking to people daily who have been inspiring and encouraging. I've started to drift into another world and it's awesome. Of course that leaves time to reflect.

Evolution. It's the on-going change of everything. Adapt to the change to survive.

Detox. A cleansing of toxic waste. Not only your body needs a detox.

Blogging is of course part of my life and that opens different avenues and of course introduces social media. This has been something over the weekend that led me to reflect.

Having been on Twitter on / off since 2009, I've witnessed the change. I've been on Twitter primarily because of my blog, therefore, it feeds and breeds off of that one subject. Now do not get me wrong, there's some bloggers I adore, who make it worthwhile me logging on. Others, well I'd rather not focus on that too much but it doesn't make it pleasurable. When you've seen the evolution of something, sometimes you can mourn how it once was, unless you be that change you want. The beauty community has got to a point where it's really showing it's shallowness that people feel it makes. We share this common interest and you're type-casted unless your blog has become known for it's variety.

I miss how I felt the community of Twitter once was before the witch hunts began. I can go on there and have a laugh with certain people and you can meet others. Just last week I was on there for the majority of my evening & night - that rarely happens. I was having such a fun conversation with a group of women
@CurvesandLashes // @PetalsofPerfect // @PetalsofPerfect // @Color_U_Bold
that all sprung off one tweet and the majority of us probably weren't following each other or knew the other. Yet it was nice just to speak to new people and talk about subjects that had nothing to do with our blog!

I've got two Instagram accounts. I've kept the @laalaamonroe one for beauty. Ideally I'd love to just use it for anything but I feel type-casted. When I first joined in 2012 of course I posted anything and then over time it started to get some what more refined to the point I've now gone back and delete photos that don't fit in to the 'current image' there's nothing for me to look back on but I have the memories and know how things once were.

I notice I now run away from this account to the solitude of my other account. The other community I've started to become a part of has been so welcoming and I noticed the huge difference in attitudes. Now I'm not saying all beauty bloggers are shallow, remove that from your train of thought but I've noticed that there are 'types' I spoke about this with someone else on my other instagram and she's never been apart of that community to my knowledge but can witness it even as an outsider.

"I'm a makeup artist and beauty blogger who could be seen as advertising a false beauty. A cover up. I see things around me are focused skin deep. I've seen people butt kiss to get ahead, to be noticed. It happens, it's a dog eat dog world if you allow yourself to be that way. Maybe I'm wrong for judging someone's actions and it's not very zen of me to do so. I am human and cannot help my fault. Although faults can be fixed. I noticed I've had a false sense of worth and want. I love makeup. I truly do. Yet there is more to me that unfortunately I don't feel I can share on that page.

I notice the difference from beauty accounts to ones of a lifestyle and a positive one. The communication. People take time to read and comment and send their best wishes and advice. Truly support just to support not because they are wanting something back. I would be ungrateful to say that I've not had the pleasure of support because I have and it's the same circle and I'm grateful to that. It feels genuine more and more as time passes and I do the same but find myself trapped in that other cycle. Just looking skin deep"

Yes I understand these are MY accounts, I should feel like I can do whatever but it's touch & go. I'm not going to be like some I've noticed who pick up people to get ahead and drop them without a second thought as soon as they've got the attention of someone else they need to use. It's nasty. I'd rather get by on talent, hard work and persistence because I have an aim. I'm not doing this for likes and followers just to sit and brag. I rarely notice on beauty accounts people genuinely give a toss about that person unless some sort of relationship has been formed. You get the same generic replies because people want that attention from the poster to help their social profile.

These communities are based off of a number. The larger the number, the more supposed good you are.

Social media is a good connection when it's balanced and working well in your life. Even in times when I didn't look too much into it, the universe sent me a like minded soul in the form of Lima aka Fashionicde. Even when I look at our friendship, there's a balance because at times we can be battery opposites but even batteries need opposites to work. I've met some fabulous people who I can now call friends through platforms such as Twitter thanks to blogging so it's not all negative.

I'm doing a detox of all my social media accounts and there's more to come. I noticed my followers count drop & that's fine but to be honest if there is no fulfilment being brought to me it's not needed. It doesn't mean I dislike you. It just means we have different intents. If you're only following me because I'm following you then it was never a want to follow me because you liked what I do.

Join the discussion, I'd like to know your views on how you feel about social media, does it affect you as a being, do you not pay much attention to it?

I'm all for back then #BackThenandNow @laalaamonroe

I'm all for now #BackThenandNow @laalaamonroe
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  1. winterinadream27/1/15

    This is a great post and reflects a lot about how I feel as well. Hope you will not leave blogging just because the community has chanaged (or let's say the big one have changed)

  2. Hi love.

    Thanks for reading this! I doubt I will leave blogging as I enjoy being able to vent and share as most the time we're not alone with how we are feeling there can be just one other soul who feels the same too!

    It's just having to adapt and find that space wherever I feel comfortable. I don't want to feel my life is revolving around technology but it's a great connecting platform.

    It's finding the comfort and balance with it all! xo

  3. Ayisha Ogbara27/1/15

    Recently, I've been noticing the things you're talking about, which makes me very sad but I try to focus on the good aspects of social media. I often don't try to make blogger friends because I don't feel like anyone wants to be genuine friends- anyway great post, I loved reading it!

  4. winterinadream28/1/15

    I totally understand what you're saying! I hope you'll find the balance x

  5. Stephanie (Nerd About Town)28/1/15

    " I'm not going to be like some I've noticed who pick up people to get ahead and drop them without a second thought as soon as they've got the attention of someone else they need to use." -----PREACH THAT GOSPEL. I noticed this recently with a couple of bloggers who I thought were *friends* - they dropped me like it was hot when they needed to talk to the person they REALLY wanted. It really is a dog-eat dog world and you're right - the community has changed from when I started using twitter back in 2009!

    I find that it's less about forming genuine friendships through a shared interest, and more about making connections in order to get ahead - IT MAKES ME SICK. I don't even go on Twitter that much...infact let me rephrase - I don't really join into the beauty/fashion bloggers talk on twitter anymore these days; it just seems so pretentious! I created my twitter account before my blog so I follow loads of ratchet (and some intelligent/insightful) american people and just talk to/RT them instead ROFL. If you want a list of rachets to talk to, just whatsapp me and i'll send you all the usernames, lol!

    Lord, this comment is long but I'm not done. I'm definitely not feeling the vibe of the #Now twitter - there are a few people such as yourself, Halima, @TheSundayGirl etc who I converse with who are jokes..but on a whole. I just can't do it.

  6. Halima28/1/15

    Social media is an awkward one, we all need it really to spread our message, but things can soon get out of control! It's a bit like Technology, you can either be in control of it, or it can be in control of you - in my opinion you should put whatever you want up on your social media accounts, otherwise eventually you could be railroaded into posting stuff you don't like, that'd just be the worst!

    I know what you and Stephanie mean about being dropped - it's a dog eat dog world out there, and certain bloggers will cast you aside once your usefulness has ran out. You know exactly what I say about those -"Fuck 'em". Keep on doing yo thaang.

    And a final point, I tend to post all sorts of random pictures on my instagram, I like to keep a good mix of everything to avoid that type-cast situation but I have noticed that I always seem to lose a few followers when I post a picture of my face. What's that all about?! WHY IS MY FACE OFFENSIVE. LOOOOOOOL.

    "You must be the change you wish to see in the world" - Like my Grandad Gandhi said.



  7. Lesley28/1/15

    Really interesting post LaaLaa.
    With my social media accounts I keep them strictly blog-related which like you said, is silly really as it's my account, I should be able to put whatever I like on them.
    I actually deleted my 'real' twitter a long time ago and I don't use facebook much so I think that's why I've continued to keep my blog ones blog-related. I've wondered various times whether the whole is my beauty blogging thing just makes me shallow and self-absorbed but it is an area I love, just a very small area of my life!
    I feel like I've made a few genuine friends by blogging but I completely can see what you mean about people just trying to get ahead. I recently had a very awkward encounter where a well-known blogger asked me to meet up but later made excuses not to and then had a conversation about meeting up with someone else who had commented on one of my Instagram pictures! I decided a long time ago that I won't waste my time on people that aren't worth it and the same goes for bloggers. I only ever read, and especially comment, on blogs I have a true interest in. Aint nobody got time for that 'follow for follow' rubbish.

  8. Yes I agree with you there. There's always good and bad with things in life and it's a shame I'm seeing the bad shine through more but I've got to take the good that can and has come out of it. Within blogging there can be that feeling of "what does this person want from me?" + it's quite clique oriented but I think if you just stick to the good aspects and follow any vibes you get it won't steer you wrong.

    Thanks for reading xo

  9. Yes it's such a shame that it happens. I know we spoke a lot on this yesterday but I'm still going to reply lol. It's changed a huge deal and that's evolution. If there's no growth, it's only death but it's where you grow within the area. What are you going to input, how are you going to deal with it and feel good about yourself. You don't want to second guess your own self because the situation isn't positive.

    This shared interests and really it's one thing and once you show that other side of you people look at you sideways because there's more to you than just beauty. It's insane. I don't blame you from stepping back and just doing you and I'm ever so thankful for that mute button on Twitter lmao but I'm definitely going to detox my lists and why not. If people genuinely like who I am overall then their going to enjoy whatever I bring to the table and just respect my way if the agree or not.

    Yeah when I created mine back in early 2009 it was really about me and I'd share my blog things on there but it wasn't so about that life until about 2011/2012 my God it all changed for me then!

    That's it, the selected group of people and it's like I said to you people I normally joke around with on Twitter or speak to their either on my Facebook / Skype or have my phone number. Weird how things are now! Thanks for the comment and taking the time to write this xo