This month I've been going through huge transitions. I've noticed where my peace has been lying and where my anxiety has been building. I enjoy what I do but I'm thoroughly conflicted as of late. I'm not going to focus on this too much but it's definitely something I'm listening to, my friend circle has got even more smaller, I'm talking to people daily who have been inspiring and encouraging. I've started to drift into another world and it's awesome. Of course that leaves time to reflect.
Evolution. It's the on-going change of everything. Adapt to the change to survive.
Detox. A cleansing of toxic waste. Not only your body needs a detox.
Blogging is of course part of my life and that opens different avenues and of course introduces social media. This has been something over the weekend that led me to reflect.
Having been on Twitter on / off since 2009, I've witnessed the change. I've been on Twitter primarily because of my blog, therefore, it feeds and breeds off of that one subject. Now do not get me wrong, there's some bloggers I adore, who make it worthwhile me logging on. Others, well I'd rather not focus on that too much but it doesn't make it pleasurable. When you've seen the evolution of something, sometimes you can mourn how it once was, unless you be that change you want. The beauty community has got to a point where it's really showing it's shallowness that people feel it makes. We share this common interest and you're type-casted unless your blog has become known for it's variety.
I miss how I felt the community of Twitter once was before the witch hunts began. I can go on there and have a laugh with certain people and you can meet others. Just last week I was on there for the majority of my evening & night - that rarely happens. I was having such a fun conversation with a group of women
@CurvesandLashes // @PetalsofPerfect // @PetalsofPerfect // @Color_U_Bold that all sprung off one tweet and the majority of us probably weren't following each other or knew the other. Yet it was nice just to speak to new people and talk about subjects that had nothing to do with our blog!
I've got two Instagram accounts. I've kept the @laalaamonroe one for beauty. Ideally I'd love to just use it for anything but I feel type-casted. When I first joined in 2012 of course I posted anything and then over time it started to get some what more refined to the point I've now gone back and delete photos that don't fit in to the 'current image' there's nothing for me to look back on but I have the memories and know how things once were.
I notice I now run away from this account to the solitude of my other account. The other community I've started to become a part of has been so welcoming and I noticed the huge difference in attitudes. Now I'm not saying all beauty bloggers are shallow, remove that from your train of thought but I've noticed that there are 'types' I spoke about this with someone else on my other instagram and she's never been apart of that community to my knowledge but can witness it even as an outsider.
"I'm a makeup artist and beauty blogger who could be seen as advertising a false beauty. A cover up. I see things around me are focused skin deep. I've seen people butt kiss to get ahead, to be noticed. It happens, it's a dog eat dog world if you allow yourself to be that way. Maybe I'm wrong for judging someone's actions and it's not very zen of me to do so. I am human and cannot help my fault. Although faults can be fixed. I noticed I've had a false sense of worth and want. I love makeup. I truly do. Yet there is more to me that unfortunately I don't feel I can share on that page.
I notice the difference from beauty accounts to ones of a lifestyle and a positive one. The communication. People take time to read and comment and send their best wishes and advice. Truly support just to support not because they are wanting something back. I would be ungrateful to say that I've not had the pleasure of support because I have and it's the same circle and I'm grateful to that. It feels genuine more and more as time passes and I do the same but find myself trapped in that other cycle. Just looking skin deep"
Yes I understand these are MY accounts, I should feel like I can do whatever but it's touch & go. I'm not going to be like some I've noticed who pick up people to get ahead and drop them without a second thought as soon as they've got the attention of someone else they need to use. It's nasty. I'd rather get by on talent, hard work and persistence because I have an aim. I'm not doing this for likes and followers just to sit and brag. I rarely notice on beauty accounts people genuinely give a toss about that person unless some sort of relationship has been formed. You get the same generic replies because people want that attention from the poster to help their social profile.
These communities are based off of a number. The larger the number, the more supposed good you are.
Social media is a good connection when it's balanced and working well in your life. Even in times when I didn't look too much into it, the universe sent me a like minded soul in the form of Lima aka Fashionicde. Even when I look at our friendship, there's a balance because at times we can be battery opposites but even batteries need opposites to work. I've met some fabulous people who I can now call friends through platforms such as Twitter thanks to blogging so it's not all negative.
I'm doing a detox of all my social media accounts and there's more to come. I noticed my followers count drop & that's fine but to be honest if there is no fulfilment being brought to me it's not needed. It doesn't mean I dislike you. It just means we have different intents. If you're only following me because I'm following you then it was never a want to follow me because you liked what I do.