Thoughts are Things.

This year I've been very quiet on the social front, with no regrets. I'm learning a lot and getting everything needed in order, which feels so good. I'm losing people but gaining strength in the loss. Being more in tune with my mind and the people I allow into it, is important. I decided to write this post on letting people go and growing as a person to be more positive.

“I pick my friends like I pick my fruit.”
-Being selective in who I befriend. Picks friends of good quality, as you normally would with fruits.
Here’s the deal, in life there are things we can choose and things we can’t. Family being a thing we can’t and friends being the things we can. In short, friends are the family we choose for ourselves, we spend maybe as much or more time with them than family & more information. Over the past few years’ people have come and gone, they go as quickly as they come because the friendships weren’t built on anything solid. As I get older I realise I don’t need a squad of people around or to talk too. I rarely try with people so when I do, it’s a sign of me making an effort but as soon as someone disrespects and disregards all I’ve done for them – I’M GONE! People eventually show their true colours, whether it takes 5 days, 5 months or 5 years. It might sound as if I just friend & dump people but it’s not like that. I speak to people but there has to be boundaries before you let someone in completely. Earn each other’s trust, unfortunately some can earn your trust and still do you dirty cos anyone can. Although how many times can you give someone a chance if they don’t change? Why repeat the past if you want the future to change?
"Cut ‘em out. If they aren’t right."
-If someone isn't doing right by you, let them go.
Our brains are one of the most powerful but misused organs we have. It can be taken for granted, our thoughts manifest into things and that’s why I’ve not felt guilty or sad that I’ve cut people out for misusing me because their negativity isn’t to be focused on, focusing leads to manifesting – that negative downfall isn’t what I want or need in my life. What other people think of me is none of my business. If you don’t want something in your life STOP thinking about it, focusing on it & allowing your emotions to be involved in the creation of it. Direct your attention away from the thing that you do not want in your life. In order to find peace, you must manifest positivity in all you do ... the universe gives you what you give it. Trying to get my mind right is a continuous battlefield and when I come out of the other side of the battle, I always have my truest ones there. Sometimes I wonder why cos when I’m going through my battles whether alone or with them there, I often ponder, why do they stick it out, be patient, wait for me to come around? But it’s probably because there’s understanding, a solidarity and a mutual ‘I want my friend to win in life!” But the winning starts with your own mind – winners don’t see themselves losing. Unfortunately, with every one person trying to win, there are more not wanting to see you win.
“Accept Yourself as You Are, Even When Others Don’t”.
-When you learn to accept yourself, you're likely to find that others will accept you too.
At times, myself and others can find solace in the fact that others like who we are – through good or bad but sometimes we can be pretty hard on ourselves and start to pick on the things that others may have commented on about our personality, maybe even our looks. Focusing on the negative does nothing but pollute our way of thinking of ourselves, so when we look at the reflection of ourselves our mind is continuously telling us all the negatives. We become what we think we are. You can't have a negative attitude towards yourself and see yourself make something positive out of your life. Positivity with the mind, body & soul starts and ends with ourselves. It’s nice to be complimented but the everlasting compliment is from ourselves, instead we should believe that we’re unique, irreplaceable, beautiful, smart, blessed & much more even if others do not see that. Kill them negative thoughts with kindness & remember what other's think of me isn't my business!
"Grow from The Dirt They Left You In."
-Like a lotus that grows out of muddy water; stand above it pure and unsoiled.
But no matter what, try to keep positive towards others who did you wrong or not. Send them positive vibes because they need them just as much as you. Grow and be better, staying positive takes a lot of work & we've got to remember to be good to ourselves as well as others. No matter what's happened to you, it's trying to find the positives in your life & not focusing on the negatives. Even if it's waking up and writing down at least 5 things you are grateful for in a notebook, look for the good. I saw this journal by Natalie Fox I want to get - think that'll help immensely.

How do you stay positive & deal with negativity?

illustrations from Regards Coupables

27 comments

  1. Very good post, I tell my Daughter you can pick your friends but not your family, and in life you will have a load of friends but only a handful of true friends.

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    1. Thank you. This is so true, people'll come and go but it's not about dwelling on the negative people but noticing the ones who are truly there for you.

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  2. I struggle with staying positive actually! Once I get negative I stay that way until I can give myself a kick up the bum and sort it out! I do agree that friend's are the family you choose though :)

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  3. This is a fab post.
    I have a lot of family that don't bother with me and I have a handful of very close friends who I prefer to call them my family.
    I struggle to keep positive all the time

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  4. One of my favourite posts from you, love the illustrations too.

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  5. I love this, and great images. I do law of attraction and so I definitely agree that thoughts are things and that you can think yourself into a better life! x

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  6. What an amazing post. Definitely something I needed to hear today.
    I absolutely struggle to stay positive sometimes. It can be so hard. But it's true, YOU have got to be the one to kick your backside!

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  7. This is such a great post! I try to stay positive but I really do find it hard to from time to time as I always feel like I put pressure on myself to do so xx

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  8. I really struggle dealing with negativity as I am quite easy to offer advice to others but struggle to take it myself. Sometimes I find tough love works for me like telling myself to man up x

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  9. Ah really interesting take on friendship and negativity. I agree there's no point keeping negative influences in your life.

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  10. Life should be about living, laughing and fulfilling yourself, if there's someone who's preventing that... cut them out.

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  11. There really isn't room for negativity in my life. I try not to pay attention to it even though it can be tough.

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  12. I am very selective with my friends now and whilst I don't have many, I am okay with that.

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  13. I am very confident in my ability to see people for who they really are. I can smell bull from a million miles away which is a great talent dontcha know! The only thing that I struggle with is when people don't like me - I'm never nasty, always balanced in conversations etc. It does knock my positive thoughts I must say

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  14. I think that being selective is something I need to work on because I always end up with friends who seem to use me or discard me when they are bored.

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  15. Great post! I've lost friends along the way but I always say true friendship lasts forever! As far as friends are concerned I definitely think quality is better than quantity

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  16. You make some great points here, I think it's so important to focus on the positives in life as it's far too easy to lose yourself in the negatives. I try to remember that everyone comes into your life for a reason, even if it's just for you to learn from losing them; not everyone is meant to be in your life forever.

    Jess xo | The Indigo Hours

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  17. Love this post and the illustrations. You could have taken the words right out of my mouth. I pick my friends like I pick my fruits.

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  18. Well written and well explained that you're not just befriending and dumping people. Your life is too valuable to spend it on people who don't value you equally.

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  19. Such a great post - you said exactly what I have been thinking x

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  20. This is a great piece. Learning how to look for the positive isn't easy. It's nice to have friends who offer different perspectives.

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  21. Brilliant post. I'm very selective with he people I want to spend time with these days. I don't see the point in putting in effort with people I just don't feel myself around.

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  22. What amazing advice! I Know I need to take some of these to heart and change the way I allow myself to be used.

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  23. Great post, I am very selective wen I chose friends. I must admit I am not in contact with some family members as they are not people I want to be associated with.

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  24. A thought provoking post with loads of inspiring tips. It can be really hard to combat negative thoughts and influences sometimes, but it's well worth the effort to do so.

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  25. Really thought provoking post lovely and sometimes you have to cut the negativity from your life, tough though it is x

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  26. this was a beautiful read! I'm starting to slowly cutting out the negativity from my life. better late than never right?

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