An Honest Goodbye To The Current Blog


I don't want to make this my swan song but this year my blog has been lacking with passion & substance. I've got to a point that I'm feeling stifled, stagnated, under pressure and unhappy. In the years I've run my blog it has transitioned from a blog I started to share my wishlists, music, other blogs I loved, fashion, mental health and of course my beauty journey except it has now gone in a direction that makes me not even want to blog I can't even bother blogging.

It's just another beauty blog.

As beauty blogging started to become the thing from about 2010 onwards the community changed. As things do, they evolve, like I wanted the blog to do, businesses also take notice, people find careers, friends and a hobby. I use to live on Twitter, I enjoyed talking to people with common interests and now I'd be lucky if I even glance towards it. I'm not putting myself on any pedestal but just the attitude and underlining's of some other bloggers puts me off being associated. Maybe I'm just not much of a social networking person (since MySpace), nor much of a in the flesh person socialiser neither.


Ever so grateful for the opportunities & recognition I have been given with running the blog & the people I have connected with, some I'm lucky enough to call a friend. It makes me smile when people tweet me and say "I started my blog because of you!" (It could also mean, girl whatever you are doing it's wrong, lemme show you how!!) or "I enjoy reading your blog, it makes me work harder on mine." That there makes it worthwhile knowing that people feel that way about what I do.

Except, I feel it's been a lie the last 6-8 months. I got greedy and ahead of myself.

I turned my back on what made my blog that to me, something I enjoyed reading too. I deleted old posts that didn't look 'professional' to companies who would want to look at my blog. I blogged nearly everyday from when I started and in my archives there's hardly anything that represented that or me!!

A couple of weeks ago I did an online interview for Cosmopolitan UK, they were talking to last years Cosmo Blog Awards winners and one of the questions put to me in the original question format sent to me was "You’ve shifted focus from just beauty on your blog. Why is that?" I sat and revisited that question for a few days, asking myself What did she mean? maybe it has become more review based & less about my beauty but to me this blog has never been soley beauty, I never intended it to be.

It was just my space to occupy my time, find myself, document a journey. A journey of a 20 year old woman, who is now facing a different life than the one she previously lived. Shameless in what I have to share, for those who are suffering in silence but at the same time want to live a normal life & have a career minus the issues going on in their heads. Share a life & love without all the bullshit!

I lost that journey.

There will always be some shit going on, there will always be people you will not like the intentions of, people will use and abuse you for their own sake & sometimes you will lose your way and be swept in with the crowd.

There's a few ways to recover the lost journey, continue until I find my way  or turn back to before I got lost or just sit and bitch.

Let's turn back and start again,

Hi, I'm LaaLaa! Currently 25 years old, bi-racial, only child vegetarian bordering on overweight with an animal obsession & Costa hot chocolate addiction. Self-taught in make-up until I attended AOFM in January 2012. I suffer from manic depression and anxiety which is probably the biggest challenge in my life to live with. It's hard for my family to deal with, this illness that's just been smacked into our faces & it's frustrating for me to live with. It's a lonely place for people to not know the extent of how bad it is even my close friends don't know the true extent & feeling cos I lie, I lie to be normal.

Make-up become a big part of my life in late 2008. That's one of a few reasons why the blog was born, it was my own space. Interests include reading, looking after my own miniature farm, cleaning (yes, cleaning), listening to music, does cheese include as an interests? History, Egyptology, Greekology and Criminology with a sick obsession with South Park & The Office US-(might border on unhealthy). There's a lot to me that's been under a rock that needs lifting and showing I'm more than this! An old friend of mines mum once described me as 'A real eccentric with eclectic taste!' I think that's a cool way to live.

I'm socially awkward. Never use to be, now I truly am.

This blog is about me and I will limit over time the reviews, while I find a fair balance between make-up looks,natural beauty, nail, videos & general posts. I want to be able to fall in love again and some may not like where it's going back to but we all have to do things to make ourselves happier.

Maybe this is a swan song to the unhappy setting, I'm going to be having a clear out and doing what I want & need to do to be content!

Hope you continue on the journey with me xo

20 comments

  1. I'm glad you've realized that your blog is no longer making you happy and making steps to change that. Enjoy your rediscovery. I'll certainly be sticking around. :-)

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    1. Thanks lovely. No point struggling to just do something when there's no happiness.

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  2. Personally, I'm on board with you whatever diretion you go because I love me some Laalaa *Hugs* Your blog might change directions a few times but who you are never will

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    1. *hugs* It made total sense (referring to the comment below)! Thanks babe. Love you too xo

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  3. Wait did I phrase the last part of the sentence right??

    Who cares?

    Conclusion is . . .

    YOU ROCK!!!!!!

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  4. Thank you for the introduction. i hope your journey is a fun trip

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    1. Thank you for reading and commenting :)

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  5. A beautiful post hun!
    I started reading thinking you were going to quit blogging

    I personally believe that a blog is a constantly evolving and changing thing like people/us we are constantly learn and evolve

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    1. I'm so misleading, I did think about quitting but it's better to just go back to what worked and made me happy.

      Oh I believe that too, sometimes what something evolves into for the person isn't for the best but the learning process is never ending.

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  6. I am so happy you are not going away. I was getting sad before I read through the rest of your post. You have been such a huge inspiration to me. I completely understand doing what makes you happy. I will definitely be here for your journey.

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  7. I think its fantastic that your going to blog about things that are true to you not what you think other people want to read. I for one am excited to read these up and coming posts. X

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  8. I love this post so much it's truly inspiring, I'm trying to keep my blog from steering into that whole beauty blog thing where its taken over by reviews and hauls and trying to keep a balance between that and just blogging about whatever interests me, my life. It's inspiring to see such a well known blog like yours publicly realise that the direction your blog is currently going isn't making you happy or what you want and your going to change it to make you happy!

    As @Epiphannie says "You Rock!"

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  9. My heart sank when I saw the title and screamed NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO, until I read the post and wiped the sweat beads off my brow (yes, I'm quite descriptive).

    I'm incredibly happy that your blog will finally be what you want it to be. If you lose followers, tough shit on them. Do what makes you happy. Definitely following you through your journey.

    Lots of lalalove!

    Lima

    xo

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  10. Thank you for your honesty. I don't read blogs much anymore because I feel like it's ALL the same. Literally just the same thing, over and over again.

    I've always gravitated towards your blog because I like your writing style and I feel like we're both similar in some ways.

    I look forward to continue reading your posts :)

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  11. PHEW! When I read the title, I was about to have a cardiac arrest! I can totally relate to where you're coming from and I commend you for being so honest with yourself. Sometimes you can get so wrapped up in companies,reviews,deadlines and stats that the true meaning of your blog gets totally lost - the same thing happened to me earlier this year, which is why I've made my blog a lifestyle one too so I can add things that I like into the mix.

    I've loved reading your posts and reviews regardless and I can't wait to look forward to the new ones you have in store!

    You have no idea how much of an inspiration you are to others Laalaa, I would never have even guessed that you were bi-polar! I suffer from clinical depression and I've never really told anybody for fear that it was still a stigma, but you coming out with it makes me realise that it's nothing to be ashamed of.
    I wish you nothing but love and luck on whatever direction you decide to take your blog and know that i'll always be here supporting you! *irons cheerleader outfit*

    xxxxxxx

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  12. PHEW! When I read the title, I was about to have a cardiac arrest! I can totally relate to where you're coming from and I commend you for being so honest with yourself. Sometimes you can get so wrapped up in companies,reviews,deadlines and stats that the true meaning of your blog gets totally lost - the same thing happened to me earlier this year, which is why I've made my blog a lifestyle one too so I can add things that I like into the mix.

    I've loved reading your posts and reviews regardless and I can't wait to look forward to the new ones you have in store!

    You have no idea how much of an inspiration you are to others Laalaa, I would never have even guessed that you were bi-polar! I suffer from clinical depression and I've never really told anybody for fear that it was still a stigma, but you coming out with it makes me realise that it's nothing to be ashamed of.
    I wish you nothing but love and luck on whatever direction you decide to take your blog and know that i'll always be here supporting you! *irons cheerleader outfit*

    xxxxxxx

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  13. Thanks for sharing!

    I love your blog. I've been following you since 2008. The whole landscape is totally different now: People come and go and some evolve.

    Bottom line. I love your blog. Love your sass. Don`t stop blogging <3

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  14. I think we al go through a bit of a crisis with our blogs, we lose our bearings and original concepts but it comes back after a while and we remember exactly what drew us to blogging in the first place. It's good to see that you have regained your passion for blogging and long may it continue.

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  15. I'll surely be sticking around. You've been one of my beauty blogger beaus from the beginning and I don't rock with a lot of people in the blogosphere. I'm glad that you did this post as I am currently going through the same thing and you've giving me some insight and inspiration to get back on track. Looking forward to going on this new journey with you!

    xoxo
    Erica

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  16. I have certainly feel this many times, not feeling the passion towards blogging like I used to... mainly because of how busy things are as a Mom my end, and like you said, it becomes like another other beauty blogs. I'm glad though that you've realized or noticed this and working towards changing to how you want your blog to be. At the end of the day, that's what truly is very important. If you're happy, things you'll write will reflect that, and your readers will feel it, too. That's what I believe. ^^ Glad you're staying hun. <3 xx Donah

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