I contemplated discussing this for a while but when do I ever shy away from things?
I travelled into London to go to an event, I arranged to meet someone and while waiting a man came up to me I had my earphones in and I only caught some of the sentence. He asked me where a specific road was, I answered him - sorry I don't know. He started to walk away but turned back and asked me for my name, I ignored him as I wasn't interested, he then got his phone and put it to my face and proceeded to tell me to give him my number and I'm going to come to a party with him and his friend - he was alone at the time. That aggravated me as it was very unnecessary for him to do that so I said to him 'No, just f*** off!' which got him heated ' Well f*** you, you hoe!' I just thought wow, okay not needed. It left me feeling a little uncomfortable, I'm standing alone and waiting and this guy is copping an attitude towards me while on his phone.
Nearly an hour waiting, the person I was meeting didn't turn up..I decided to go ahead and try and find the event location. My phone was on the verge of dying, I'm lugging around bags and I stopped by a wall to text a good friend to inform her my phones about to die, I might have to go home just as I sent that, my phone dies and I get a hand in-between my legs, shocked I turn around and it's the guy from earlier with his friend. He recalled our earlier altercation and said to me I am going to come to a party with him and his friend. At this moment, my mind is running 100 miles per hour with thoughts of 'what ifs?' ... the only thing I could think was, if I don't move now, I'm never going to move. Not knowing if my legs were going to be strong enough to go or just be jelly an buckle underneath me...I used my bags to help push him out the way and I continued to run.
Alone, no phone, miles from home. All I wanted to do was get home and just feel safe.
Shock set in and I spent my evening on auto-pilot. I didn't want to think what happened to me, I know I felt violated and like a worthless piece of meat. Just there for the taking!
Not until I told my mum the next day did I have a huge cry, let it all out. The Ice Queen had melted. I didn't go to the police, another thing swept under the rug. It's nothing serious to them. I felt ashamed I got myself into that situation, the blame game had begun.
Unfortunately to say, this isn't something that's unusual for me. It's an unfortunate recurrence. If it's not a man inappropriately groping, being degrading or physically trying to remove me from where I am because they are not getting what they want it happens.
I've noticed that when I've mentioned this to male friends, the reactions have been varied some find it quite humorous and dismiss it as banter / light hearted fun. It makes me wonder, are those the types to watch out for? The ones who find it to not be something serious? Others were shocked with responses of 'why is it always you?'
It might always be me to them but I'm sure I'm not the only one.
Ladies, what I'm saying is, this is not banter nor light hearted fun. It's a violation, nobody should feel they have the right to touch or disrespect us because they're not getting what they want. There's a lot of events happening daily by 5pm it's dark. Be prepared (know where your going, maps, phone fully charged etc.), meet with someone you know and rely on if you can.
I actually carry an alarm on me, I've had one for years but I got to the point where I stopped carrying it with me, unfortunately I do need to travel a bit lighter as I do carry everything but the kitchen sink and I even have an on the go charger as I never want to be put in that predicament again.
- Update : Thank you for your supportive words and RTs. I'm sorry for others who have had to go through something similar like this too. We must look out for each other more if possible especially with attending events and really think ahead, don't look upon it as being negative or it's too much hassle, your safety isn't a negative thing.
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